Anger, Initiative
by devilust
Summary: Gemma calls Chibs while she's at the motel room with Juice. The Scot needs to decide between his pride and love for the brother gone astray. Incomplete.


"He needs to know he's loved. Is he loved, Filip?" Gemma was looking at Wendy as she spoke, hand in her phone, Juice still buried in the blonde's lap as he cried himself to sleep. Chibs was on the other end of the line, teeth clicking as he looked himself in the mirror of the bathroom he was currently...hiding in to take this call. Jax didn't need to know more than he already did. He'd crucify the boy for contacting them again, and he'd sure as hell release the reaper on Chibs for caring enough to keep the communication going.

Of course he loved him, he was a brother. A rat, a traitor, but a brother. The love they had for each other was something more than family love, or friendly love. Even with the positive voting to mayhem, the love was still there. Chibs loved him alright. As a brother, as a child, as a friend, as everything. But he knew there was no way they could ever trust Juice again. He was too sensitive for this world, too fragile and too vulnerable to make it like they did. _Naive little bastard._

The Scot never answered her question. It was a given, but he didn't know if he wanted to see him again. Hell, he knew he did, but he wasn't sure what he might do if he saw him in that state. With a hand placed against the wall, he nodded to himself as if Gemma was standing right in front of him, and with a long sigh he uttered, "Tell me where he is. I'll come alone, but he has to be alone too." These were his terms, considering he didn't want Juice to be babysat as if Chibs was some kind of criminal. No. Juice was the criminal here. He hurt the club, and he hurt him. "Don't let him know I'm coming", and with that, he hung up the phone.

Gemma nodded to Wendy as she then continued to text Gibs their exact location. Wayne was outside when the women followed soon after, leaving the sleeping Rican in the motel room, "I'll see you back at my house. I got this", was all Gemma had to say for the other two to nod in agreement and disappear into the darkness. The woman was looking at the key in her hand, a cigarette hanging from her lips as she closed her eyes tightly in fear of what was going to follow. Did she just hand Juice over for Chibs to kill? After that many deaths, why did this feel so wrong and personal?

Her thoughts came to a stop as she felt another person's presence blocking her way. She jumped back and lifted her head, facing Chibs in front of her with his same threatening demeanor, his hand extended to her in order to get the key, "Leave."

For once in her life, she obeyed without questions. She knew what had to be done, and at this point she was glad it was Chibs and not her son that had to do the job. Jax had enough on his plate already, and dealing with Juice as well would completely set him off at this point. She nodded, handed the key to him and left.

Chibs remained looking at the spot she was previously occupying for a while before he made the decision to use the key. He had to make sure there was no one around, checking one last time for the piece shoved at the back of his pants. He used the key for the door, opening it slowly at first as he examined the room. There were several pistols and ammo placed on an end table, as well as a backpack and Juice's cut hanging from the closet. Chibs furrowed his brows in annoyance, pure betrayal, as he proceeded to open the door some more, coming to a stop as he saw Juice laid down on the couch, sound asleep. The Scot entered the room and closed the door quietly behind him, standing still against it as he remained looking at the younger man. Apparently, not quietly enough.

Juice jumped back in his sleep at the sound of a door closing, his eyes wide open and his breath cut back in his throat as he saw the man staring at him. He stood up to create some more distance, looking around in panic only to realize they were completely alone in the room. He avoided looking at him; it was impossible not to get teary eyed every time he'd see one of his brothers, especially Chibs, the most betrayed of them all. Juice knew he'd hurt him the most. Him and Clay. But Clay was done for, he was now in the past. Chibs was alive and well, standing so close to him, silently wishing to kill him, his face screaming murder. Juice shut his eyes closed and remained silent, but soon looked back up at him. He'd been called a coward so many times before, he couldn't hear it again. "Out of all people, they send you to do it?" his voice was cracking here and there, and he hated himself for it. It was torture, knowing that he'd die in the hands of the one he respected the most. Others would see it as an honor, but to him, it was a nightmare. His heart was beating fast, and he could swear the pounding was visible on his naked chest. But the Scot didn't flinch. He didn't react. He was just looking in his eyes with the same expression mixed with disgust and pity, the expression Juice came to hate the most. He wished Chibs would talk to him, even spout the hatred he had for him. This silence was killing him, and he did not have the patience for it.

With a swift movement, and much to the other's surprise, Juice reached for one of the silencers on the table, grabbing the barrel of it as he forcibly placed it in Chibs's hand. He didn't speak but decided to join the staring contest as he squeezed the Scot's wrist, the end of the pistol placed against his own temple. Chibs flared through his nostrils, biting hard down the inside of his cheeks as he cocked his head back, allowing the smaller male to take control of his hand in that way. All he needed to do was pull the trigger, put this wounded animal out of his misery at last, but God knows it came to be the hardest decision of his life. He squeezed the trigger, but not hard enough to end this, feeling Juice's grip loosening up, "Don't hesitate. I've betrayed you, remember? Just do it brother. You'll be doing us all a favor." Chibs had no idea how, but the younger one managed to crack a smile as he spoke, the tears already out of control by now. What was he trying to do? Remind him of all the reasons he needed to kill him right there and then? He already knew what his duty was, what Jax would have him do if he knew about this meeting, but after everything, even after Juice's failed rehabilitation and how he decided to blow off the second chance he was given, Chibs would accept him back over and over again. No matter what. However, it wasn't him who called the shots.

He lowered the gun and put the safety back on in an instant, placing it back on the table as he heard Juice exhaling in what sounded both as relief and disappointment. "Why didn't you leave Charming?"

Juice tilted his head back slightly to force the tears back in his eyes, but to no avail. Again, he avoided the eye contact. Chibs could read his eyes faster than his own mother, and that defeated the whole purpose of trying to hide from him. "I couldn't. I tried to, but I-" Chibs grabbed his face with both his hands, fingers wrapped almost non-threateningly around his neck, "You didn't try hard enough then. You're forcing my hand here", he approached the other's face as he pushed him back, and Juice didn't try to fight back, or stop him in any way. He knew this was coming, and he was ready. He just shook his head, teeth biting down on his lip as he swallowed back his grief, "I couldn't. I heard your voice and I knew that I couldn't.. I needed this, this closure. You hate me and I get it, but this is good enough for me." he chuckled between tears, his hands holding tightly on the other's arms as his back finally found the wall.

Chibs was looking at him in question, gloved fingers still holding him in place, "If I hated you, you'd be dead many months ago. I tried to understand you boy, but you didn't want the help."

Juice smiled sweetly at him, more with his eyes than his mouth, "You didn't try hard enough then", he mimicked, and the Scot took his hands back with a loud, animal-like grunt. "I'm broken, yeah?" he continued before Chibs would, making the man look at him again, "I'm a weakness, a liability. There's no helping me. All the shit I've done, the people I killed and sacrificed for this club. It all means nothing now", he burst out laughing and slid down the wall to meet the floor, "I tried to off myself twice, man. I'm not built up for this life," his hands were now covering his face in shame, and Chibs knelt down close to him. He knew he couldn't, and wouldn't do it. He reached up to touch the man's bare shoulders, but Juice swatted him away, "DONT.. fucking touch me. Just finish it off."

Little did he know, Chibs was a persistent one himself. Without further ado, he grabbed him by the shoulders again and pulled him into a hug. Not one of these quick, brotherly hugs shared between the members, no. This one was long needed for both of them, it seemed. The younger man literally broke down in his arms at this point, and the Scot did nothing to stop it. He simply wrapped his arms around him in a tight embrace, tilting his head to the side a bit as he felt Juice's face trying to nuzzle against the crook of his neck. He didn't mind, and that shocked him. He wasn't one for prolonged, emotional hugs with his male friends, or anybody who wasn't his wife or daughter really, but this felt just right. Juice was latching on him, fingers grasping on his cut for dear life, and he said nothing. He cried silently, and Chibs let it happen, despite the uncomfortable realization of the other's half nudity. Even that, in some way, felt just right.

Juice was the first to pull away, but not enough to break it off. He needed more than just that, and he knew the chances of getting what he always wanted would get Chibs up and taking shots at him with no second thoughts. It was crazy after all, but it was a fact Juice had to live with for many years now. He tilted his head enough to take a look at the Scot, who was looking at him in return with no readable expression on his face until the younger man lingered, and Chibs just stared at him in question, and worry. Before he could speak, the Rican leaned forward quickly to seal his lips, fingers grasping the back of his nape to push him forward into the kiss. Chibs eyes were wide open in pure shock, looking at the other one even as he broke off the kiss. Now that, he did not see coming. He pulled his arms away from the naked torso and just stared at him in question, but Juice didn't need much more to lean forward again, this time stopping inches away from the other's mouth as he looked up at him.

Chibs returned the look; Juice's eyes were begging, and so did his lips. He gave it no thought. He knew that if he stopped to think about it, he'd sooner stand up and walk out that door, probably never see Juice again. He didn't want that, but he wasn't sure he was okay with wherever this was leading either. It was wrong on so many levels, and it was even worse that he wasn't physically disgusted by it. Juice was still waiting, his lips parted and leaving small breaths against him in a way that made it harder for him to gather his thoughts, or reach a rational decision. The Rican sighed softly and lowered his head as he slightly moved away, but Chibs was faster. As he saw the disappointment written all over his face, he grabbed him by the neck and pulled him hard against him in a kiss much more intense and deep than the last one. Juice melted into it until the other forced him back against the wall with a hand on his chest, and Juice kept that hand in place as he used his other one to grab Chibs' cut and pull him even closer. He parted his lips in invitation and Chibs shoved his tongue deep into his mouth with lust he didn't think he ever possessed for the boy, pushing himself some more against the smaller, muscular body. He was running out of breath, but he didn't care. Their lips were moving slowly, rhythmically together, hands exploring whatever naked skin they could find as Chibs got rid of the gloves to do his share of touching.

There was some pausing in between, some silent staring of doubt and question, but neither of them pulled away or put an end to it. Instead, they'd go back to it with much more intent and desire than before, the kissing turning into biting and claiming each other's territories, leaving marks behind. Juice was no longer weeping. It was all replaced by quiet moans of pleasure, his hands fighting to get under the other's clothes. Chibs's mouth was now all over his neck, forcing more sounds from the other's throat as his back was hitting against the wall behind him. He started pulling on the Scot's cut impatiently in order to remove it and that was when Chibs pulled away to look at him. He rubbed his hand down his own face and sat back with an exasperating sigh, looking around the room in order to avoid Juice's silent begging to continue. He shook his head to the plea, but didn't stand up. "I don't know how that happened."

Juice continued to look at him, expecting to hear more since he didn't have the answer himself. He knew what he wanted, and a second ago he thought he knew what his partner wanted, but he seemed to have been wrong. He parted his lips to talk, but there was nothing worth sharing that wouldn't just embarrass himself in the end. Instead, he decided to be the one to stand up first, absentmindedly scratching his temple as he walked towards the couch to grab his t-shirt. He remained with his back turned to the other, fingers fidgeting with the clothing in his hands as he tried to regain control of his body and senses. He was ashamed to have been the only one so affected by what happened, "Sorry, I thought we were on the same page there for a second." He spoke more to himself than Chibs since it came out as a whisper, and he chuckled in silence, body jerking up a bit as he felt the man closing the distance from behind. He didn't turn around, he didn't want to face rejection a second time in one night.

Chibs was hesitating to touch him, his now gloveless hand reaching up for his shoulder but stopping inches away. He didn't know what was going on, or rather he knew too much and was in self denial. There was always love between them, Chibs always favored the small, easy-going guy over the others in ways he didn't understand, or didn't give much thought into. And after he learned of his betrayal, the Scot took the hurt in a much personal level, a feeling in the gut he couldn't explain, something he'd never felt before and he knew would never leave him. And now, as he watched him from the back, minutes after their rather passionate exchange of kissing and biting, he knew he was more at home than ever before. All this affection now made sense, but in his heart, he knew, he never felt this way for a guy before, and he never would again.

He finally leaned forward as every ounce of hesitation left his head, lips barely touching the other's shoulder, and his arms wrapping around his waist to pull him closer against his chest. Juice let out a sigh and welcomed the gesture, head tilting slightly to the side to accept the lips on his skin as he held tightly on the arms that were holding him still, "Christ.." was the only thing he could utter, the relief coming along with it rather audible, since apparently, they were both on the same page.


End file.
